I'm a gal who's patiently waiting for the big 21 to arrive and basically a typical stressed-out student in Uni. Uni takes up about 50% of my life and thankfully the other half is taken up by God, my family and friends and my dearest sweetest, nicest "Teddy Bear, Clown, Entertainer and Lovable Sweetie".. Am thankful to God for everything and for the people around me... Loves sports and Life!!! CARPE DIEM!!!
hobbies
playing basketball
watching movies and tv programmes
collecting cute stuff especially star themed ones..
loves & hates
loves God!!!
loves family members (like duh!)
loves blue, brown, black, yellow, pink, light green
loves to eat and enjoy life
loves listening to music
loves dancing
loves sun-tanning
loves reading
loves sports like basketball and netball
loves shopping!!!
loves catchin' movies
loves drinkin' (lol. all sorts of beverages!!!)
loves makin' frens
loves hangin' out with frens
loves my galfrens
hates heartbreakers!! ): *humph*
hates liars and losers
hates hypocrites
hates empty promises
hates bitches who make use of ppl
hates things that make friends miserable
wishlist good health and happiness
get into NUS/NTU/SMU get chance to do Degree with Honors
graduate from University
get driving license lose weight to XX
a car (any model la!!!)
complete slamdunk series comics
go for nus union camp!!! C.A.P. 4 and above
a pair of birkenstocks a pair of levis
go on exchange to germany for dear to be happy
go on holiday with dear
have a great holiday
visit Zoo
set up a-day-with-us.blogspot.com have a great new year have a great 21st bday! new hp
set up patricialin.com
people judge others by achievement, character, race, religion, physical appearance, wealth and even the things they do. What does these have to do with the human being? Maybe perhaps these are the factors that actually mould the person into who he/ she is.
I was recently posed with this question by my cousin, "What is wrong with you?" when i fell for a guy last year who was not good looking, not smart, a lazy bum, insensitive and most of all, a jerk. How did we judge him as a jerk? By the way he behaves, his physical appearance and most of all, this attitude towards me. Well, I felt that i was accepting the flaws of the one i adored. But maybe, I'm wrong. I was just blinded by puppy love.
It's just that recently, i thought about what kind of person i want to be in the near future. A graduate, earning a reasonable income, able to live lavishly (not too lavishly though. more of comfortably) and maybe be married off to a guy who is on equal par with me.. Or perhaps smarter than me and more capable. The life of a tai-tai is so tempting and I know of my mum's matchmaking deals.. but never mind.
OKAY!!! Back to the main topic. Well, i was thinking about how people judge me as a person and as a stranger. I think I'm worried more of creating a first impression on the new folks I'm gonna meet in Uni. I want not to be in the IN crowd but neither do i want to be in the OUT crowd. Haha... Sometimes, I feel that my achievements aren't enough and my grades aren't gd enough, i'm not pretty and I'm not rich. I don't look chinese and I don't live a religious and have a spiritual life. I seem so DOWN THERE. I mean i seem to have self-esteem but i think I'm actually a very conscious girl. Being deemed a BIMBO recently and too frequently, I think of what kind of judgement do people pass on me. I wonder if I really am living my own life or a life that is controlled by others.
Since i was a little girl, my mum has taught me how to behave in public and the right words and behaviour to put on when in the "REAL WORLD". Now that I'm kinda old, i realised that all these are done to follow the system - the one that helps us gain a place in this hypocritical world. Outwardly, i seem like an organised person but step into the comforts of my room, you'll realise that I'm not Miss ALMOST-PERFECT anymore.
WHY AM I DOING ALL THESE? JUST TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE JUDGE ME THE WAY I WANT THEM TO?! Sometimes, i just wonder maybe this is really who i am. But, sometimes, i don't think so. In fact, I think i'm schizoprenic (did i spell it correctly?) that I have 2 personalities which are different. But if i am, i bet I'm not chatting here. I'd probably be in hougang chalet. Well, let's just say I have a lot of masks. Too many to keep count of. Haha... sad but true. I wonder which mask have u encountered?
I feel that everyone has a mask, not only me. I wonder how many do you have? Just remember that people can judge you based on their own rules and whatsoever, but most importantly LOVE YOURSELF. I know I do. I really really do.
*SmiLeZzz*
Take care and God bless.
*queen pat*
10:19 PM
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