I'm a gal who's patiently waiting for the big 21 to arrive and basically a typical stressed-out student in Uni. Uni takes up about 50% of my life and thankfully the other half is taken up by God, my family and friends and my dearest sweetest, nicest "Teddy Bear, Clown, Entertainer and Lovable Sweetie".. Am thankful to God for everything and for the people around me... Loves sports and Life!!! CARPE DIEM!!!
hobbies
playing basketball
watching movies and tv programmes
collecting cute stuff especially star themed ones..
loves & hates
loves God!!!
loves family members (like duh!)
loves blue, brown, black, yellow, pink, light green
loves to eat and enjoy life
loves listening to music
loves dancing
loves sun-tanning
loves reading
loves sports like basketball and netball
loves shopping!!!
loves catchin' movies
loves drinkin' (lol. all sorts of beverages!!!)
loves makin' frens
loves hangin' out with frens
loves my galfrens
hates heartbreakers!! ): *humph*
hates liars and losers
hates hypocrites
hates empty promises
hates bitches who make use of ppl
hates things that make friends miserable
wishlist good health and happiness
get into NUS/NTU/SMU get chance to do Degree with Honors
graduate from University
get driving license lose weight to XX
a car (any model la!!!)
complete slamdunk series comics
go for nus union camp!!! C.A.P. 4 and above
a pair of birkenstocks a pair of levis
go on exchange to germany for dear to be happy
go on holiday with dear
have a great holiday
visit Zoo
set up a-day-with-us.blogspot.com have a great new year have a great 21st bday! new hp
set up patricialin.com
Thursday, December 08, 2005
is losing yourself a part of the process of love?
today's blog post is actually something that i have shiva have discussed indirectly recently.. why indirectly? coz we didn't tackle a matter specifically. It just cropped up in our conversation in lil' ways.
question: is losing yourself a part of the process of love?
if it sounds really "chim", in simpler words, does it mean that you change when you get into a relationship with someone?
well, our friend, mr chee-bong, recently got attached! (Congratulations to him!!! Haha.. he looks really happy in the r/s lor~ haha...) of coz, we are very happy for him but the first thing that the both of us brought up was, "it's going to change rite?" That was shiva's exact words. hahaha...
we actually think that mr chee-bong might change as in, we won't be spending much time with our fren, we won't be hangin' around much with our fren, we won't definitely "profess" our adoration to him at the basketball court anymore (we don't want to end our lives early hahahaha..) but at the same time, we definitely won't be seeing him around much i guess. These are the typical reactions or after-effects that friends feel when one gets together with someone. Am i right?
people that i know who have been in relationships before, say that sometimes, they actually change in their attitude, their behaviour, their dressing, preference, fashion sense etc.. they unwittingly lose their individuality. i've heard of lovers who change that much just to please the other half or they think that it's best for the relationship. But is it really that necessary?
someone i know actually shared that he got so reliant on his other half and had changed quite a lot that when they unfortunately broke up, he lost himself. the story of breaking up is already bad enough and it is even worse when you think that it was all your fault. I have heard another friend, M who said that he felt his r/s ended because of his inability to meet his gf's expectations. I was like "WHAT?" i believe that for a r/s to work out, both people have to adapt to each other and perhaps grow to be more accepting of the different ways that you have. Moreover, it's a give-and-take thing. besides, you can't blame yourself for being who you are! and if the person is truly worthy of your love, he/she must have loved u because of YOU (character, attitude, thinking etc) and not because of your physical traits.
if you think that you unfortunately are in the same situation as the 2 friends i have mentioned, i believe that you should most importantly be happy. Be happy with yourself, who you are, how you look and how you feel. Because only when you make yourself happy can you make others happy too. Though it sounds selfish of you to do so, but that is when genuine happiness occurs. moreover, find yourself. be it through reading, meditating, talking to friends or even just through art or sports. find out what you are really good in, and where you feel most comfortable and sure that the people around you, adore or appreciate you. FIND YOURSELF.
i know i'm starting to sound like some kind of psychologist. well, that's what i actually aspire to be in the future. hahahaa.. but anyhow, i just feel that it's not worth losing yourself in a relationship and that you should always maintain the individual self that perhaps, your bf and gf truly liked you for. other than that, i think i should stop trying to sound like an expert.. but i've been standin' on the sideline observing and ya.. that is my conclusion.
after sharing ideas above, there's a character meip who wants to perhaps put an end to misery plaguing 2 people, herself and kory. meip wants to take the opportunity to apologise to kory for all the trouble she had caused him. she feels that both of them are miserable - kory doesn't know what she wants and meip feels guilt-ridden. meip knows that they shared gd times together and she felt that it was unfortunately the time where she didn't know what she was feeling and she didn't know what she wanted. the human mind is very deceptive and that feelings may have been confused. meip's sorry for leading kory on in any way in the past and she now absolutely knows that she wants kory to be like a brother to her, someone she used to confide in and someone she counted on, just like old times. she doesn't want him to lose himself just to be able to meet her 'expectations' anymore. but meip finds it difficult to tell kory face to face about this and hopes that some way or another (be it someone we know reading this and tellin' him or kory reads this by chance), kory will realise this. she understands nonetheless if he decides that he chooses to "step out" of the picture (i.e. to leave). but believes that the long friendship of close to 5 years should not be forsaken. perhaps meip and kory can let 2005 pass them by.. and meip hopes that 2006 will be a better year for the both of them. kory, thankyou for trying to understand in any way... <br> i tink i've said enough.
take care everyone. God bless.
*queen pat*
9:22 AM
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